The interview went quite smoothly, though I was stuttering while answering the questions. Was lucky to have some really nice interviewers too. Walked out of the room thinking that I would most probably not get the job.

However, I managed to get it somehow. And damn, I was chosen to work at the skincare products station instead of the fragrance station. Pay's increased by a dollar to $6/hr. Not a bad news at all, but hey, are they like blind or what? Me? Skincare products? I can't even take care of my own skin! -.-

But still, I'm employed :D Yay.

So many things on my shopping list. So little money. And so little time to save money.
Damn.



One more day to the start of my 10 weeks hols! Man, how long we'd waited. Another week to CNY! Money, money roll in! :D

#lovefio
Hired, finally (:

Got this from CLEO.
Enjoy.

9 THINGS NOT WORTH RISKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR:

1. An affair -
Women cheat, often rationalising their actions by blaming an inattentive partner. Men cheat, often rationalising their actinoas by simply being presented with the chance to sleep with someone new. Either way, even if the strayer can be assured that their infidelity will never be discovered, an important shift takes place in the dynamic of the relationship. A sacred bond has been broken and even if you think you can masquerade that everything is as it was, your man will know something is up. Just as you would if he were sleeping around.

The alternative, of course, is coming clean. While your honesty is commendable, it will result in cast amounts of wounded pride, a sense of trust that will never be completely rebuilt and - somewhere deep in the male brain - the notion that if he too cheated, you'd owe him the chance he's giving you. Not a good combination. At all.

2. A threesome -
No matter how much he begs you or how intrigued you are, a threesome is not going to make your relationship stronger. Sure, the erotic novelty of a trio may be enticing but it's an escapade best left to the single. Why? Because sex between two people who love one another is more than just getting your rocks off. There's also a level of emotional connection at play - which is put on hold when a third party climbs into bed. Why, you think, would he need another woman in bed with him when you're already there, you may wonder in the post-coital funk. He may ask a similar question if the roles were switched. It's natural to wonder why you alone are not enough for your partner and this thought is the baton twirler at the head of a whole marching band of insecurity.

3. Your jobs -
At different times in our lives, we have different priorities. When career success - with its long hours and perhaps business travel - is top on the agenda, relationships invariably suffer. And all those "I'm working to make a great life for us" justifications seem hollow when all you want is to be with the one you love. It's not that you can't have a relationship and a career. Rather, it's about finding someone whose agenda matches yours. But no one wants to feel like their partner is more loyal to a company than to them. Your boss will only love you when you're contributing to his bonus but your partner will love you regardless. Remember this before your loved one starts to feel as if they're being made redundant.

4. Cyber-snooping -
This faux pas is the equivalent of an artificial respirator for a dying relationship. Why would you take it upon yourself to snoop through his email or SMS inbox? The curiosity is understandablebut taking it further broadcasts the assumption that he has something to hide. Not exactly a basis for happily ever after. No matter how stealthy you think you are, one day you will be caught. And until then, you might even start creating elaborate suspicions about genuinely innocuous messages and wondering who "Lisa" is. Eventually, your prying nature will get the better of you and you'll ask. To which he'll reply, "My cousin who's visiting from Sabah and wanted hotel recommendations." By then, of course, it's too late. Your true nature has been revealed and he's not sure whether he likes what he sees.

5. The mad rush -
Once in a relationship, it's only natural that you'll want to establish whether you and your partner have similar long-term goals. Who wants to spend years with someone only to be told "Actually, I never want to get married" or "Kids? I don't think so". But acquiring this information shouldn't come at the expense of the here and now. Give it a year to get to know each other on an increasingly deeper level and enjoy all the fun stuff that comes early-on. Demanding a five-year plan at any time within this period will have him feeling rushed and wondering if you're worith it. But if you don't know whether your long-term visions coincide after four seasons, you're perfectly entitled to ask where he sees this going.

6. His private fantasies -
Men realise that our fantasies are often disgusting and depraved. That's why we're so reticent to share them with you. We're hesitant that the entire content of our character will be judged according to this one part of our brains. We know that once we reluctantly condess a scenario involving you in a Wonderwoman outfit and beads that weren't designed to be worn around the neck, you will recoil in horror. Then judge the entire conent of our character accordingly. If you open the door, be prepared for what is going to step through it. Otherwise, he may feel betrayed by your response. He shared something deeply private and now feels he has sunk in your estimation for doing so. Doesn't exactly bode well for future honesty and revelations.

7. Wanting to be together 24/7 -
Here's a word no one in a relatinoship likes to hear: Seperation. Yet it's precisely this concept that strengthens many a long-term liaison. Relax. Talking hours here, not months. As long as most of your time is still spent together, these periods of independence spent on individual pursuits allow both parties to bring new ideas and energy back to the relationship. It also gives you a chance to miss omseone, a process that often serves as a timely reminder about why you fell in love with them in the first place. Deny him those solo sojourns and he'll quickly feel suffocated. And we all know that suffocation quickly leads to that most lame of all male break-up lines, the need for "space".

8. Not allowing him a past -
Newsflash: He had a life before you camt onto the scene. Deny it all you will but there were other women he loved - and restricting his access to them will only shotern your relationship. If he's honest with you about still being friends with these women, he should score more points - not less - in your book. It shows that although these relationships ended, the demise was handled in a civilised enough manner that he and his ex can still be part of one another's lives. Should you find out that he has spent time with an ex, it's still no reason to bust his chops, as he was probably afraid you were going to react the way you are right now. The solution here is saying that you'd prefer it if he were honest in future. As opposed to asking him to never have contact with her again. Unless he has given you previous indication that he might be unfaithful, simply chatting with his ex doesn't mean he wants to be back with her or even have sex for old time's sake. As with the concept of legal justice, men are innocent until proven guilty. Not the other way round.

9. His friends -
Nothing sucks the life out of a relationship like a partner who feels she has the right to criticise your mates. Ad nauseum. They may not be the most hygenic or well-mannered bunch of lads but they have stuck with him through some hard times and why should he have to justify his friendships to you anyway? This works both ways and he is similarly forbidden from laying into your mates. Should this prove a flashpoint, agree to disagree, make these conversations a nogo and allow him to get his belching fix on boys nights out. He'll relish the freedom and cherish you all the more for it.



Eh...... Only some makes sense. Heh.

#lovefio
Goodness.

Hol's coming. I'm still jobless. Darn.

Going to Tampines CPF Building for some interview tomorrow. I hope I get the bloody job, though it's only for a week. Heh.


Chinese New Year's coming too. Need new dresses, new heels, new lingeries, new everything. Haven't planned my new year look though. What kind of hairstyle? What colour nails? Urgh, so many things to consider - money wise.



Not fair. The other classes are either dismissed early or being treated to big, yummy pizzas. What happened to our facilitators?? Where's OUR pizza?!?!

#lovefio
Damned.

Went to find HM at TM Watson's (she's working there) on Sunday. She quitted her job half way due to her very uncomfortable eyes and the freaking unreasonable manager.

Long John and then to Toy 'R' Us. Childish, as you might think. It's just to kill time, really.

I want him!
Pony! Pony!


Slacked around at Century Square toilet aftermath. Too bad la, boredom.

Then, HM started playing with my hair.













Last week of school!
I hope I get a well paid job soon (:


And oh,
Happy 7th Month, Baby.
I love you.
Always do, always will.

#lovefio
$$$

You don't know how it feels.



I want you to burn.
I want you to steal.
I want you to bleed,
And see how it feels.

I want you to beg,
I want you to crawl.
Give more than you take,
And smile through it all.


I've given everything, I loved you endlessly,
but when it comes to me you don't even notice me.




"Forget it, Fiona", I'm telling myself.
But I know I can never forget it.

You hurt me more than you thought you did.
Tell me how to forgive you.
Cooling down isn't going to help.
You ruined it all yourself.

And I'm dying from a fatal illness called
HEARTBREAK.

Like I said, you'll never know.




I can just stop doing this to myself now.
It's just not fair.
I'm not taking revenge, it makes no difference even if I do.
But try putting yourself in my shoe,
& you'll know how much you just hurt me.
I'd given more than what I gave anyone,
But I guess it's all back to square one.

Remember this -
You ruined it all.


There's nothing more that I can do.
I did the best I can.
Guess I wasn't good enough for you.
And whatever I did is just a waste of time.

My friends tell me to give it up,
You're not worthy of my time.
And that you cannot give me the future I deserve.
I never wanna listen to them,
Until today, I finally see the truth.

Then again,
You ruined it all.


Try gaining back that 'trust' from me again.
I doubt you'd be able to do so.
We'd been through this so many times,
I have my weak moments too.
Tell me, since when have you been here?
Truth is, you were never here.

It wasn't easy for me to love again.
Then, you came and ruin it all.



Are you going to be here now that I'm hurt so bad?
Would you still see the same in me?
It wouldn't be easy to trust you again,
But I promise I'll try my best.

#lovefio
Liars.

The interview yesterday went pretty well. Cute, chubby manager. I think I'm going to like this job afterall. But I'm still considering. Mm..

Walked around Marina Square for awhile aftermath and HM's boyfriend got himself a Zara cardigan. Not bad looking, should get a Zara tee for Baby too. It's on sales!
HM wanted Hokkien Mee so we went over to Baby's side. Yes, common complaints from her about having to peel the prawn one by one on her own. Haha.
Waited for Baby to end work and went home together. Had a tiff but it's alright now.

I feel fat today. Damn.
Misery ):
Bother...





Oh and I've had my prawns peeled for me (:
Thanks, Baby.


We shall stick together,
& stay strong.

#lovefio
You're important.

Darling, you make everyday perfect.

Hung out with HM almost everyday after school. And that girl's becoming more insane as each day passes by. Poor me.

Meeting HM and her boyfriend again after school today for a job interview at the Starbucks @ Millenia Walk. Heard that there would be trainings. Mm, guess it's time to reconsider this job opportunity.
I'm never going to get that Gucci wallet in this jobless state. Damn.




I know I really shouldn't be thinking about this.
But I just can't help it.
When things don't go right for me, all I'd have to do is close my eyes
and it'll all come flowing back.
Sometimes I do it on purpose, to remind myself of those happy moments I had lived for.
Sometimes I force myself not to think, but I couldn't help it, I'm sorry.
I'm doing it again, ain't I?
It's wrong, I know.
You left such a dark mark in my heart.
It's just impossible to ignore it.

Why am I still hearing things about you, about us?
Why do all those comments still hurt?
Why are you still here after so long?
Or is it just me? Well, it must be.
It couldn't be you.
Not anymore.

I'm not happy.
Not at all.
I'm left alone to deal with this.
And I hate it.

#lovefio
Catch me fall.

Took some personality tests (link from Esther's blog).
Here's the results :D
Don't mind me, boredom.


The Real You
- You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

- You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

- You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

- Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

- Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Ring on fingers
Ring finger: You are sensitive, romantic, and hope fervently to find a love that's heartwarming and everlasting.

Get to know yourself better
Your views on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you met that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

What's your personality love style?
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.




#lovefio
Boredom.

Shermine (Baby's sister)'s birthday on Tuesday. Jumbo-ed with Baby and his family to celebrate her 15th birthday. Crabs, fish and prawns. Man, it was heaven.

Got a Perlini's Silver necklace for Shermine.
Hope you like it, girl (:

Had a difficult time deciding on the location to dine. Went to Raffles City initially and looked around almost the whole of the building for some peranakan restuarant for buffet. However, the spread wasn't we way we thought it would be, hence Baby's dad said to go somewhere else for dinner instead.

Ended up at Jumbo after cracking our brains about where to go. All of us were already famished when the food came. Still, the dishes kept our mouths shut for a long while there.




Was supposed to head down to Millenia Walk with HM yesterday for a job interview at Starbucks. The manager then asked us to go down next week instead. Damn, I need a job fast. I wanna get my hands on that Gucci wallet!


Met HM and Denver at TM instead. YiKai and Kenny came a while later and then we had dinner at Tori Q. Went back then to wait for Baby to come home from work - something I'll never get tired of (:

It feels so good to hold you in my arms.
Never, ever let go, Baby.
We've been through so, so much.

#lovefio
Love you so.

Thursday
Did our hair, HM and I. Dyed my hair some copper blonde colour while HM rebonded hers. Thought it'll look weird? Not a bit. It really suits her! Although she'd been stuck with naturalled curled hair for 18 years, she looks just as good in straight hair. Haha. Glad for her.

Then back to Baby's house and waited for him to come back from work.
Yes, you're loved, boy.













Friday
Slacked around east area with HM and then went to her house. Just another passing day. But we didn't miss out the fun we would always have.







Saturday
Bugis with HM. Again. Got some new eyelashes and eyelash glue. Then it's the long bus journey back to Baby's place, with countless thoughts running through my mind.

It's good to see Baby again (:













Sunday
Spent Sunday at HM's house. Main reason, well, because we were so broke, what else? Ok, maybe because there's no where else for us to go. It's all the same old places.

Cooked. Yay (:
Beancurd with mushrooms and crabsticks.
Who says I can't cook?? :D

Trust me, it tastes better than it looks.
(Though it looks somewhat like beancurd with mushrooms and guo tiao lah -.-)


Went to TM to pay my piano school fees but the bloody counter was closed when we got there. Walked back to HM's house aftermath and got just a little crazy laughing over her 'new brows'.

It's drawn. By herself.
I really don't know what's wrong with her.




Talked a lot about the past. Her past. I sincerely felt like crying while I was listening to it. It was like I know how she feels. Or perhaps, I do.
It's hard to climb out from it once you know you've fallen too deep.

Some things he does or things he has failed to do disappoints you, yet you can still forgive him in the end.
The things he does or says to hurt you or even himself, you know they're all because he cares, and you care too.
The squabbles, something you'd wanna avoid but sometimes it's just what brings both of you closer together.
After those ruthless quarrels, when you two would hug each other so tight and it's clear that you can't live without him and he won't do without you.
The way he falls asleep silently in your arms and you could feel his breath just under yours, you know you'd wanna spend the rest of your life with this man.
The way he snores when he's really tired, you find it cute - only if it's him.
The surprises he'd prepared for you, you cry everytime you're touched by his sincerity.
The gifts you wanna give him, you wanna give him the best.
The things both of you had been through, you know no one else in this world can do the same.
The feeling of knowing that you'd found true Love, isn't something you can find with anyone else.
...
And the list goes on.

It's just so heartwrenching to find out one day that none of these exists any longer. And when you're left alone on your own to face it all.


I pray that we wouldn't have to know how it feels to be at this state, Baby. I want you as my future and I need you in my life.
Baby, I wanna be your bride.

#lovefio
You're my knight in shining armour.

Some things you can't see with your eyes, only with your heart.
Can I see where has your love led me to?



Spent the day at HM's house and dinner with her, Denver, YiKai and one of their friends, Kenny. Crazily walking about East Point.




Pay's coming. They said that they'll inform us when they can transfer it over. It's 11 p.m. and not a single shit. Yes, of course I'm pissed. I'd been waiting for my pay for over a month already. Fuck those losers.

And I still have a long list of things to buy! Urgh.

#lovefio
Liars.

New Year countdown at some KTV called Tianamen at Havelock Road yesterday with Baby and gang. It was ok.

I appreciate the company of an hour over the phone. It made me a lot better, despite the amount of alcohol causing the drowsiness. I thought I'd be able to get a little tipsy and put all things aside for the time being. Oh and how wrong I was.

No, it didn't make it worse, but neither did it make it any better. I'm flushed with anger, disappointments, sadness and guilt. Silly, ain't it? To start off the new year with such disheartening emotions.

I've got to figure out what's best for me, and what I really want.




Nevertheless, Happy 2008 to all of you weirdos (:

#lovefio
Happy New Year.