Then suddenly.. it all seemed so vague.. so far away.


A few days ago, we felt like there's a new hope in our lives.
Suddenly, we lost it all. The happiness and the joy.


Not a single soul can understand how I feel, even if they'd been through the same thing. No one, at all. No matter how I cry, how I beg, how I scream.. nobody would ever feel the same as I do. I can describe it using a million words, cry a ton of tears or beg a thousand times. But trust me, nobody would ever understand.

I'm not blaming. I'm not blaming anyone if they don't know that kind of feeling. It's better that you don't, really. I pray that none of you would have to feel this pain.


It's heartbreaking,
really heartbreaking.





My heart tears apart everytime I think of it. But it's impossible not to think. Why? Nobody will understand too.

It's worse than a quarrel. It's worse than a break up. It's worse than having your parents accuse you of being a thief. It's worse than falling apart with all of your friends, and realising that you're the only one left alone in this world. I feel worse. Worse than all of these.


But I know of one person who's feeling the same as me, or maybe just slightly better than me - Baby. He's heartbrokened too, I know. Why didn't we stick to the choice we chose? Why do we have to listen to the other people? They don't have any rights to decide our fate. Yes, I blame myself for every single thing.


It's painful, so painful. The pain's from the heart. It's just not fair.



Regrets. This is the first time I've done something which I'll regret. And I'm going to regret a lifetime. "But there's nothing else you can do about it, stop thinking about it, move on." are some of the response. True, there's nothing else that I can do about it, it's gone forever. Just like that.

Again, nobody will ever understand this feeling.






We won't forget, never. It'll forever be planted in our brains. Yes, for a lifetime. But I want us to get over this. It's gonna difficult, but I have you and you've got me.
& I wanna hold onto you for the rest of my life, Baby, really.






Suddenly, spirits. I'd like to talk to them.
No, wait. Not them. Just one.
Just the one I miss so much,
the one who had once been so, so close to me.

#lovefio
We'll miss you, badly.